A Fox and a Shark
by KellyKatt19
Summary: After the Ultimatum ends yet another of Naruto's relationships, Sasuke decides it's time for him to step in. As the idiot's best friend, it's his duty to make sure that Naruto is loved and looked after like he deserves. Who would be up for the challenge? Sasuke has the perfect candidate in mind. Hozuki Suigetsu won't know what's hit him.
1. Chapter 1: First Meetings

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor any recognisable characters. - Likely to be the only disclaimer in the entire story, so just apply it to every chapter.**

**AN: Be nice please? First Naruto fanfic, first multi-chapter fanfic :).**

* * *

Being asked to accompany your boss to a meeting wasn't that unusual. When your boss was Uchiha Sasuke, however, it was like being asked to get fucking married. And then when the meeting wasn't even business, but personal, it was the goddamned apocalypse. But you didn't say no to an Uchiha, especially one that signed your pay check, so Suigetsu'd sucked up his feeling of doom and gone along to the meeting. And fucking hell was he glad that he did.

Suigetsu stared up at the walking wet dream that was, for reasons unknown, friends with his asshole of a boss.

"Dude, are you wearing contacts?" It slipped out of his mouth without his brain's permission, but that was alright, because he really, really, REALLY wanted to fuckin' know how someone could have eyes that bright. (That beautiful is what he really meant, but like fuck he'd admit that, even to himself).

Lips twisted up in a smile, while turning down into a pout at the same time. Suigetsu didn't even try to figure out how he'd managed that.

"Why do people always ask me that? I have my dad's eyes, goddammit!"

The petulant tone made Suigetsu smirk. "Fake tan?" He inquired with a raised eyebrow.

The blond man snorted. "Like hell."

"Natural blond?" Seriously, it was so fuckin' bright it almost glowed.

Large honey-glazed hands slid down a hard (praise the lord for tight tank tops) abdomen so that the thumbs were inside the waistband of his jeans and his hands hooked onto them. A golden eyebrow raised back at him. "You wanna check?"

Suigetsu whimpered and looked at his boss, who had been sitting with an amused smirk during the whole exchange. "Uchiha, I think I'm in love. Why the fuck haven't you introduced us sooner?"

Uchiha Sasuke, world's assholiest boss and youngest heir to Sharingan Tech stared at him from his place across the table in their café booth. "Haven't you skipped something from your little list?"

Suigetsu huffed – why couldn't he answer the stupid question? – and sat back to think. Sasuke's best friend (that he even had a friend had been a revelation to Suigetsu) had ticked all the boxes so far; gorgeous and funny. There wasn't much else he looked for in a person, whether they be friend or fuck-buddy, so long as they looked good and knew how to have a good time (so he was shallow enough to prefer hanging out with attractive people, didn't mean he was a bad person). If he wanted to fuck the other man, (who was actually totally his type), he'd ask one more EXTREMELY important question, but this was Uchiha Sasuke's best friend, 'his dobe' – in Sasuke's own words – and no matter how hot the guy may be, it wasn't worth losing his balls over.

* * *

Who was he kidding, it was totally worth the risk to his balls, and the Uchiha was encouraging him, so he couldn't say shit if anything did happen (please God, let something happen).

So Suigetsu turned back to the blond – had they exchanged names yet? – and leered. "Hypothetically, what would you say if I asked you how you felt about a little bit of… Teeth?" He said this with a suggestive grin that flashed his rather sharp mouthful. So he had a bit of a thing for biting, sue him. Rather than looking uncomfortable, the new lust of his life replied with a feral grin of his own, running his tongue along the bottom of his own abnormally sharp canines. "Hypothetically, I'd say, bring it on."

* * *

Suigetsu nearly drooled. "Now I KNOW I'm in love. Where have you been all my life?!"

Blondie laughed. "Sasuke's been hogging me for himself. Uzumaki Naruto, pleased to meet you."

Naruto… It suited him. Even if it did mean fishcake.

The Uchiha's eyes narrowed. "You only wish that was true, usuratonkachi. It's not like I've been hiding you."

"You fuckin' well have! Why have we never met before, I'd like to know." Suigetsu shot an accusing glare at the Uchiha Ice Prick before turning back to the blond god who was still standing next to the table.

"Name's Hōzuki Suigetsu, but you baby, can call me whatever, and whenever, you'd like." He extended a hand towards Naruto, who laughed again and shook it. Suigetsu almost panted at the warmth and softness of his skin, a contrast to the firm handshake and the callouses he could feel on the other's palm.

"I just know that I'm going to regret introducing the two of you," Sasuke muttered. "Why did I let you talk me into this?"

"Because, bastard, you really can't say no to me." Naruto smiled widely as he finally sat himself down next to his best friend.

Suigetsu stifled a laugh at the offended glare that Sasuke shot Naruto. It was probably meant to be menacing, but he thought the boss just looked annoyed. Of course, any kind of Uchiha glare was usually enough to reduce any normal person to a quivering mess, but Naruto ignored him and turned blithely to Suigetsu.

"So, I guess the bastard here already told you that this was my idea?"

He nodded. He'd actually wondered about that, because Sasuke's best friend asking to meet him meant that he knew Suigetsu existed, which also meant – assuming he wasn't some kind of weirdo stalker – that Sasuke had mentioned him. Which was a little weird, a little worrying, and also a little wrong. Suigetsu liked the guy well enough, even though he was an utter asshole (he really couldn't stress this point enough), but he really hadn't felt as though he'd done anything worthy of the almighty Uchiha mentioning in conversation. Besides doing his best to annoy him on a daily basis whilst not getting fired, but who cared about that.

"Heh heh, yeah, well, Sasuke was bitching, as usual, about Itachi and his employees-"

"I don't bitch, moron."

"Don't interrupt me Sasuke, and yes you do. Anyway," Naruto continued seamlessly after Sasuke's irate interruption. "He was bitching like usual, so I asked him if there was anyone at the company that he didn't absolutely despise, and there were only three. Besides Itachi, but he doesn't really count. And Sasuke refuses to admit that he doesn't really hate his brother that much, so yeah, only three. In the whole company."

Here Suigetsu interrupted, a massive shit-eating grin spreading across his face. "Only three? And I was one of them?"

At Naruto's nod, he grinned even wider. "Aren't I special? Gaining Uchiha-sama's approval."

"Tch. I said I don't despise you, that's hardly approval." Despite his words, Sasuke looked a little uncomfortable. Visually uncomfortable. As in, he wasn't glaring, or scowling, or just sitting there looking like a fucking rock.

It was beautiful (not like that! Fucking Uchiha was too pretty for his tastes). This blond man was clearly some kind of miracle sent by God to make sure the Uchiha remained human instead of turning into living stone. Maybe he'd teach him how to do it. Mmm… Private lessons with Naruto. He could feel a nosebleed coming on. And judging by the grimace that had just crossed Sasuke's face, he could read the perverted turn his thoughts had taken.

"Ne, Sasuke don't be mean. Look how sad you've made him." Naruto gestured at Suigetsu, who accordingly arranged his face in a pout.

Sasuke looked extremely unimpressed. Honestly, Suigetsu was a bit offended. His pouting face always worked on Mangetsu. Mostly. Occasionally.

"Anyway, Sasuke-kun here told me that one of his accetables was a bit of a fangirl-" Suigetsu smirked. He could just imagine his boss griping about that redheaded harpy away from work. "One was like a violent gentle giant, and the other one made him think of me! So of course I had to meet him." Naruto grinned at him.

"Do I live up to your expectations?" Suigetsu batted his eyelashes at the blond.

"We may have to spend a little more time together, just to be sure, y'know? But you've been doing okay so far." The mischievous look on Naruto's face was doing a lot of things to Suigetsu's body, none of them innocent. His words too, were sending all sorts of images firing through his brain, most of these not particularly innocent either.

"God above, is this what I'm going to have to put up with from now on?"

The Uchiha's irate words rudely burst Suigetsu's perverted bubble and brought him back to earth with a bump. Sasuke was scowling, while Naruto looked on with an amused expression. He didn't know what the Uchiha was complaining about himself, he was rather enjoying their little game. Then again, that moody asshole probably didn't enjoy anything aside from making his fangirls cry. What a dick.

How the hell had Uchiha Sasuke, iciest, moodiest, angriest, most anti-social person in the whole fucking world, become friends – BEST friends even – with this absolutely delicious incarnation of sunshine? Or maybe it was the other way around? The definition of sexy had decided to make friends with the definition of asshole and forced Sasuke to reciprocate. Still, the how and why escaped him. Sasuke didn't have friends. Much less an absolutely gorgeous piece of sin on legs for a best friend. Except apparently, he did. And was introducing him to his subordinate, the amazingly sexy – if he did say so himself – Suigetsu. Who Sasuke knew would take an interest, because the guy knew fuckin' everything (or maybe Suigetsu just didn't know the meaning of the world subtle). Sasuke had told his sex-on-legs best friend that he worked with somebody that reminded him of him, knowing that Naruto would want to meet this definition of awesome. Sasuke… Sasuke was matchmaking. Sasuke was matchmaking his best friend with his not-despised subordinate.

Suigetsu felt a rather… toothy, grin forming on his face, but he didn't care too much if he looked a little mental. His boss was deliberately setting him up with the most Perfect being Suigetsu'd ever met, and because he was an absolute perfectionist Uchiha, who only did shit when they though/knew it was going to work out the way they wanted it. Which meant that Sasuke actually thought he had a chance with Naruto.

'OH FUCK YEAH!' Suigetsu's grin turned salacious. 'I am in! Hah! Suck on that world, the Sex God will be mine!'

Hey. Hey, hey, hey. If Naruto was such a Sex God – and Suigetsu prided himself on knowing these things – he should be getting offers right and left. Why the hell was Sasuke setting him up with Suigetsu?

* * *

**AN: Okay, so how was that? ConCrit would be good, on the content or my writing style or anything :). Like, I know I have a tendency towards run-on sentences. Um, I already have the majority of the second chapter and some of the third written up, so if anyone is interested in this story, it will be updated. Probably not on a regular schedule or anything, but it'll happen.**

**- Kelly**


	2. Chapter 2: Matchmaking

**AN: A lot of this chapter is introspective, just warning you. Also, thank you guys so much for favouriting/following/reviewing! So many warm and fuzzy feels :). **

* * *

This was getting out of hand, Sasuke decided. And something had to be done.

The problem was, what could he do? He was a part of the problem, no matter what the blond idiot said. Actually, really thinking on it, Sasuke was basically the whole problem.

This line of thinking had emerged, not for the first time, when Naruto had come home from a date with his current partner with a trembling mouth and eyes stretched wide to keep the tears away. He'd walked in the door of their shared apartment and made his way straight to the couch Sasuke was sitting on, throwing himself down with his head pillowed in Sasuke's lap.

"Dobe," Sasuke's voice was gentle – for him. "What's happened?"

Naruto growled, but the wobble in his voice betrayed him. "She gave me the Ultimatum."

Sasuke could hear the capital letter. The Ultimatum had been issued a grand total of five – now six – times; once each from every single person that Naruto had ever been in a serious relationship with. And every single time, Naruto's answer had meant they parted ways, and the blond would come home, looking for comfort that only Sasuke could give.

"What did you tell her?" He'd already guessed, of course, but this was their routine. It pissed him off that they had a routine for when Naruto got his heart broken.

"I told her it wasn't even a choice. You will always be first with me, Sasuke." Naruto's voice was strong and sure, no matter that a tear had managed to escape and was sliding down his cheek.

The warm feeling in Sasuke's chest was overwhelming. Silently, he rested a hand in Naruto's bright hair, thanking and reassuring at once. He could never bring himself to voice what Uzumaki Naruto meant to him; Uchiha's just weren't built that way. But he showed it as much as he could, and Sasuke knew that the other man got it.

"It's just," Naruto spoke. "We've been together for almost a year, y'know? I thought maybe she got it, maybe she understood."

Sasuke sighed. Naruto felt that way every time his girl/boyfriend managed to last longer than six months – the average amount of time his relationships usually lasted. Sasuke, on the other hand, could tell when Naruto's partner started having second thoughts. And this last girl had been giving off signs for nearly a month. She'd held on longer than Sasuke expected her to, a testament to the power Naruto held over people. He would've been tempted to hope, if he didn't know better. Nobody understood the relationship between Naruto and Sasuke. Even their rather large group of friends, who knew and accepted that they were oddly close for simple best friends, didn't really understand why. They just knew that NarutoandSasuke worked, so they stopped questioning it. Others were not so accepting. There had been plenty of rumours in high school that the two of them were secretly in a romantic relationship together. Even Itachi, detached robot that he was, had asked Sasuke if there was something going on with him and Naruto. That had been a very disturbing moment in Sasuke's life.

Fury burnt through him yet again as he felt Naruto turn on his side so that his face was buried in Sasuke's stomach when he gave up fighting his tears. He hated this! He hated that Naruto always managed to fall in love so quickly. He hated that despite warnings from Naruto himself at the start of the relationship, his partners could never handle their friendship. And he hated himself a little, for feeling relief every time Naruto returned in tears, because that meant he'd picked Sasuke again, had chosen to stay with his moody, antisocial bastard of a best friend.

As Sasuke continued to pet Naruto's soft blond spikes, he mused on the difficulty of the situation. He knew he was a selfish person, and he had no problems with admitting it. Sasuke would never voluntarily give Naruto up, not to or for anybody. Unless Naruto himself told Sasuke that he didn't want to remain friends with him, the Uchiha would hold on with everything he had. It came from having an obsessive personality. Sasuke also knew that Naruto was extremely loyal, and constant, and loved with everything _he _had. They'd been friends since they were seven and beat each other up in the playground. They were now twenty-six, and still trying to beat each other up. The chances of Naruto giving up his oldest and closest friend were basically nil.

However, the Ultimatum hurt Naruto. When it came down to it, not many people would be able to handle the almost inappropriate relationship the Uzumaki shared with the Uchiha. They always ended up telling Naruto that he had to pick – him, meaning Sasuke, or me, meaning Naruto's partner at the time. And every time without fail, Naruto gave up a chance at love for Sasuke.

Sasuke loved his idiot, he really did, but a lot of the time, he felt like he was undeserving of being the blond man's most precious person. Even so, he was, and that made it Sasuke's responsibility to solve this problem and make sure that Naruto was never hurt like this ever again.

The thing that got to Sasuke though, was the fact that Naruto was the only person he could think of who would accept his significant other having a friendship like theirs and still stick around. When Naruto loved someone, there was almost nothing that could make him give them up. It was a pity there weren't more people like the dobe in the world. Because that was what they needed. Somebody who would be a good match for Naruto in Sasuke's mind and Naruto's own. Somebody who could be Naruto's well-deserved happily ever after. Somebody who would accept their friendship. Did Sasuke even know of anybody like that? Naruto was absolutely unique, no doubt about it. But since Naruto was a part of the problem, he couldn't be the solution. Sasuke just needed a person similar enough that he and his dobe could continue on as normal, while allowing Naruto to be as happy and in love as he liked. Did such a person exist?

Sasuke smirked, glad that his friend's face was still pressed against his stomach and so couldn't see. As a matter of fact, he did know somebody who would be suitable. Uzumaki Naruto and Hōzuki Suigetsu would be perfect for each other, he was absolutely certain. Now all he had to do was find a way for them to meet.

* * *

Almost a month later, Sasuke's wish came true. It had been a particularly aggravating week, with Itachi and his ass-kissing minions interfering in Sasuke's half of the business at Sharingan Tech, so Sasuke was venting at home to Naruto. He loved his niisan, really. A little. Very deep down. Maybe. But Kami did he want to kill him. An Itachi-free life… Sounded like heaven to Sasuke.

And then Sasuke's favourite person in the world made his week and solved a problem he had been chewing on for four, with one innocent little question.

"Sasuke, is there anybody at your company that you don't absolutely despise?"

Everything clicked into place.

* * *

And now here they were, flirting like idiots and getting along like a house on fire. Sasuke, behind his irritated face, was feeling absurdly pleased with himself. It'd been beyond easy to get Naruto interested in meeting Suigetsu, who Sasuke hadn't been lying about not despising. He was rather like Naruto; you wanted to punch his teeth in whenever he spoke, but was loveable all the same. Not that Sasuke loved him. Only six people had that honour.

As for Suigetsu, all it had taken was a simple order to follow him and he'd come. Hm. Maybe his subordinates deserved a raise. A small one. But yes, he'd explained to Suigetsu on the way to the café where they were to meet Naruto that his best friend wanted to meet him, and the dobe wasn't someone you said no to if you didn't want a huge pointless argument. The expression on Suigetsu's face when he learned of the personal nature of the meeting was priceless. Or maybe it was when he found out that Sasuke actually had a friend. He looked like the world was ending. Which would be insulting if he actually cared. But he didn't, so it was amusing instead.

Sasuke had also known, without a single doubt, that Suigetsu would go for Naruto, especially if Sasuke wasn't going to tear his balls off over it. Suigetsu was an absolute horndog, but he had good taste, and Naruto was right up his street. Sasuke could tell when somebody was attractive, even if he'd never been attracted to anybody in his life, and Uzumaki Naruto was a good-looking man. That is, when he wasn't making stupid faces, eating ramen, or yelling himself hoarse. Which meant he was attractive only for odd intervals during the day. The only thing Sasuke'd been worried about was the relationship part; he was certain the two would make a good couple, if Suigetsu didn't just try for fuck-buddy status. Then again, if they became friends first – proper friends, not just acquaintances – Suigetsu would be more open to an actual relationship. Sasuke had heard him more than once in the office, talking about how being attracted to an actual friend meant he tried the 'relationship thing' because he didn't want to ruin it with casual sex. For a shameless nympho, he had surprisingly good priorities.

Sakura had had a field day when she learned of Sasuke's attempt at matchmaking, but she'd agreed that something needed to be done. Sasuke used to think it was a shame she had never returned Naruto's old feelings for her, but then he'd realised that would make him the third wheel and was selfishly glad instead. Besides, the three of them worked as they were; Sakura ended up with Sai instead. She'd insisted on helping with his plan if he ever needed assistance. She wanted their blond friend to be happy just as much as Sasuke did. And he was extremely self-satisfied when Sakura gave her approval of Suigetsu. Though she'd let Sasuke know, without a shred of doubt, that she would punch his face in if his plan backfired and Naruto got hurt. He had no problems with that; if Naruto got hurt, he would deserve the thrashing Sakura would give him.

Sasuke glanced at his watch, mentally sighing. It was time to get back to work; he shuddered to think what could happen if he left the place for too long. Either he'd come back to find Itachi had done something to make his life miserable again, or his moronic subordinates had blown up the building. He was not exaggerating. Already he'd been away longer than he'd meant to, almost an hour and a half.

"Suigetsu."

The white-haired man tilted his head inquiringly.

"Break time's over. We should be getting back to work." Sasuke internally patted himself on the back when he saw the pouts on both the other men's faces. And then he winced, because Naruto's puppy dog eyes were a weapon of mass destruction, even if he had a higher tolerance for them than most people.

"Aw, but Sasuke! You're the boss, can't you take some time off?"

"Tch. I have one word for you Naruto; Itachi." Fucking niisan.

Naruto's pout fell as he laughed. "I guess you're right. But!" He scrabbled in his pockets for his cellphone. "Here, Suigetsu. Put your number in it. We should definitely hang sometime." The blond's million watt smile was flashed at the unsuspecting Suigetsu, and Sasuke had to suppress a laugh at his dazed expression.

He recovered quickly enough, and exchanged cellphones with Naruto. When he handed the phone back to it's owner, Suigetsu's hand latched onto Naruto's wrist. "Remember," he said with a suggestive grin. "Whatever and whenever you like."

Sasuke nearly gagged. Just because he was setting them up did not mean he wanted to be around while they got there. Or when they got there, come to think of it.

He watched as his friend shifted so that his hand was gripping Suigetsu's, shaking it firmly, hand lingering longer than was appropriate. Ugh. Naruto had better appreciate this later.

Sasuke stood back from the table and placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "It's your turn to cook, dobe. No ramen." He glanced subtly at his subordinate to gauge his reaction to the contact. No visible jealousy, just slightly widened eyes. He thought it was probably from Sasuke actually initiating contact with another person. Or maybe the fact that he willingly lived with another person (hah! For all he knew, Naruto could have kidnapped him and forced Sasuke to live with him).

"Yeah yeah teme, I know. Don't be too late or I'll ask Sakura-chan and Sai to come over." Naruto grinned mischievously. He knew that Sasuke had an irrational dislike of their friend's partner.

"I'll be home by six. Don't let that asshole in our apartment dobe, I mean it."

Suigetsu made a choking sound, turning his head and whistling nonchalantly when Sasuke and Naruto looked questioningly at him.

"Well, it's been nice meeting you, Suigetsu. I'll come find you next time I visit Sasuke." Naruto waved one more time, clapped Sasuke on the back, and sauntered off, hands in place at the back of his head.

Sasuke turned back to Suigetsu just in time to catch the glare he was being sent.

"What?" He asked, curious but unconcerned.

"He's been to see you at work before." Suigetsu's voice was pointed.

"Many times. What does that matter?"

The white-haired man gaped. "What does it matter, he says," Suigetsu muttered to himself. "It matters, because WHY HAVE I NEVER MET HIM BEFORE?!" He howled accusingly. _  
_

Sasuke almost laughed. Almost. He couldn't act too human in front of Suigetsu. He smirked inwardly. Not yet anyway.

* * *

**AN: Good second chapter, or nah? Thoughts? Recommendations? Questions? **

**Thanks for reading!**

**- Kelly**


	3. Chapter 3: Visiting

**AN: Tanks for de follows/faves/reviews!**

* * *

It was a nice day. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and Uzumaki Naruto was bored out of his brain. He didn't have work, he didn't have plans, and he didn't have a clue what he could do to relieve his boredom. It was only ten in the morning for God's sake!

He was currently draped dramatically on his back across the sofa in his and Sasuke's living room, where he'd thrown himself in a fit of petulance.

It was Thursday! How was it that neither of his jobs needed him right now? His traitorous workmates probably took all the shifts, Naruto thought scowling. Assholes. Didn't they know that they were leaving nothing for Naruto, and that a Naruto with nothing to do meant trouble? Even he knew that.

So, working was out. Maybe one of his friends miraculously also had no work on a Thursday? Hmm… Naruto pondered that for a moment. Well Sasuke-bastard and Sakura-chan definitely had work, their hours were less flexible than his. Sai? No, he had an exhibition coming up and Naruto didn't want to distract him. Kiba? No, he worked every weekday. All his friends did. He couldn't even see the girls because it was Thursday! Fuck Thursdays. Worst day of the week, ever. Naruto huffed. He'd been left with no choice. If he was left on his own for too long, he would inevitably cause some kind of trouble. And there was only one person who could keep Naruto from doing something too stupid. Time to go see Sasuke.

* * *

Naruto smirked back at the narrow-eyed stare he was receiving from the dark haired man. While he was sitting sprawled back in his chair, the other was sitting up straight as a ruler, eyeing him across the huge desk. He cut a pretty intimidating picture, with his silhouette outlined with the light coming in from the floor-to-ceiling glass wall behind him.

"What are you doing here, Naruto?" The blond grinned at the affectionate exasperation that was not quite hidden in that bored voice. As if he didn't know.

"Don't you like it when I visit you, Itachi-nii?" Naruto pouted at the older man.

The corners of Itachi's mouth twitched. "I think we both know you aren't here to visit me, little nuisance."

"Awww, Itaaaachiii-niiiii! Stop calling me that!" The pout was real this time. Itachi had been calling him that since Naruto was seven years old and Itachi realised that he was not quite as easy to put off spending time with as Sasuke was. He'd been one more person who couldn't resist Naruto's big blue eyes.

"I will stop calling you that when it stops being true." Naruto could hear the evil cackle that Itachi was surely doing in his mind. As it was, his usually dead black eyes were full of laughter and the twitching lips had turned into a small smirk. Bah. You bug a guy for a couple minutes of his time and you get a shitty nickname for life.

"_Anyway,_" Naruto said pointedly. "Sasuke-bastard's here right?"

Itachi sighed. "Yes. I think it's good that you're here, Naruto-kun. Otōto is in a very bad mood today."

Blue eyes narrowed as Naruto squinted suspiciously at his brother-figure. "What'd you do to him, niichan?" It was an extremely safe bet that whenever Sasuke was really fucked off, it was Itachi's fault. Almost every other person made him irritable, but only Itachi had the power to make the young Uchiha rage.

The smirk on Itachi's pale face was enough to make anyone shiver – anyone but a certain blond blockhead who had never who had never quite learned to heed the warning signs. "I may have sent Kisame-san over to check up on my precious otōto and his team."

Naruto snorted. Itachi knew fully well that Sasuke couldn't stand the large Kiri transfer. Kisame had the unfortunate habit of calling Sasuke the 'Nidaime Itachi' whenever they saw each other. Sasuke hated being compared to Itachi. Naruto had worked hard to beat the inferiority complex out of his friend's brain, but there would always be some remnants drifting around in there, feeding Sasuke's doubts about how he stood up next to his practically perfect brother.

"He's going to snap one day, niichan, and you're going to find that you have carnivorous fish in your aquarium because Sasuke gave them a taste of Kisame."

Itachi let out a startled laugh at the absurdity (not to mention possibility) of Naruto's statement. The blond simply smiled smugly; he enjoyed being one of the few who could make the older Uchiha brother thaw.

"Go and see Sasuke, little nuisance. See if you can't put him in a better mood."

Naruto smiled cheekily. "When have I ever not?"

Itachi did his lip-twitchy thingy and gestured towards the door. "Get out of my office, Naruto-kun. I think maybe it's not just Sasuke who will be pleased to see you."

The suggestive tone in Itachi's voice was hard to miss, even for Naruto. He felt his mouth stretching in a wide grin, even as he asked; "What do you mean, niichan?"

"The whole building has heard Hōzuki going on about meeting Sasuke's blond 'Sex God' friend. I assume he was referring to you."

Naruto gagged. "Ugh. Don't say the words 'sex god' ever again when I can hear you, Itachi-nii. That is just wrong." Then he grinned. "But did he really say that?"

"Would I lie to you?"

Naruto just replied with the deadpan look that question deserved.

Itachi lifted one shoulder minutely – his version of a shrug. "Fine. But I am not lying about this." He watched as Naruto's blue eyes lit up and his irrepressible grin stretched across his whiskered face. The older man hoped his foolish otōto knew what he was doing; if Naruto got hurt in this matchmaking scheme of his, Itachi would make Sasuke's life hell. The little things he did now to irritate his brother would pale in comparison to what he would do if this plan failed.

Naruto saw none of these thoughts on Itachi's carefully blank face. He just sent his older brother figure one last mischievous grin, waved, and went bouncing through the door, headed for his best friend and a very sexy shark man.

* * *

When Naruto bounced out of the elevator on Sasuke's floor and down the path between cubicles he always took to get to the bastard's office, he could almost see the light bulbs going off over the workers' heads. He grinned. The majority of them knew him from previous visits to Sharingan Tech's main office; their thunderstruck faces told Naruto that they'd only just clicked as to who Suigetsu had apparently been raving about since Monday.

Naruto couldn't help the happy smile that lit his face at that thought. He'd really enjoyed meeting Suigetsu; the man was funny as hell, easy going, and pretty damn sexy to boot. It was flattering to know that the other man appreciated him right back.

They'd texted a few times since their lunch meeting on Monday and Naruto had really been looking forward to seeing him again in person. As friends, of course. Despite the flirting, Naruto wasn't really sure if he was ready for another relationship yet, and he didn't really do one-night stands or casual flings. He didn't have it in him to not get emotionally involved. Besides, what if Sasuke skinned him for getting involved with one of his subordinates? Naruto shuddered.

He did like Suigetsu though, and it would be awesome if they became friends! Naruto cackled out loud, ignoring the strange looks he was getting from Sasuke's paper-pushers. He got the feeling that Sasuke had avoided introducing them before because he knew exactly what kind of havoc the two of them could wreak if they ever became friends.

Well too bad, bastard! Naruto had managed to get himself introduced anyway! He mentally rubbed his hands together with impish glee, imagining all the things he and Suigetsu could get up too together, and _dammit not like that_, fucking nosebleeds. Naruto quickly led his thoughts somewhere less perverted as he approached the frosted glass door to Sasuke's office. Jeez, the whole building would probably shatter if there was an earthquake, with the amount of glass in the place. Anyway! He debated the merits of simply slamming the door open, but he thought he should probably start slow, see exactly how bad of a mood Sasuke was in. So he turned the door handle and opened it like a normal person (who had never heard of knocking). The greeting Naruto was about to shout died in his mouth when he saw that there was nobody even in the office.

He huffed a little. All that wasted effort being polite and considerate. Oh well, at least he hadn't made an idiot of himself, bursting into an empty office.

Naruto carefully closed the door and thought about what he should do next. Itachi-nii had said that Sasuke was definitely here today, so if he wasn't in his office, where would he be?

Naruto's eyes lit on the other two glass-walled offices (seriously!) and grinned. These two rooms were larger than Sasuke's office, because one was supposed to be the office for his three direct subordinates, and the other was a board/meeting room. And if he wasn't in his own office, then he was probably in the board room – Sasuke wouldn't spend any extended amount of time in his subordinates' office, the snobby bastard.

Naruto, feeling particularly uncharitable after his wasted effort at being polite, made a split second decision, slammed open the door to the board room, and burst inside. In that one startled instant where everybody inside the room had been busy reacting to his awesomely dramatic entrance, Naruto'd already catalogued the people inside, who they likely were (whoo! Suigetsu!) and the fact that Sasuke looked as though he wanted to kill somebody.

Well okay then. Looked like his bursting in had been a good thing, though maybe he shouldn't mention going to see Itachi first.

The blond grinned manically and went bounding past the large rectangular table towards the head where Sasuke was sitting back in his cushy-looking chair and threw himself into his friend's lap. He heard a startled shriek from the redheaded woman on Sasuke's left and the small "Oomph" that Sasuke himself made as his arms automatically came up to wrap around Naruto and steady him. His dark eyes were widened slightly with surprise. However, when Naruto leaned forward and planted a great smacking kiss on Sasuke's cheek, the surprise turned to exasperation.

"What are you doing here, Naruto? And why did you feel the need to interrupt my meeting?" Now there was a little bit of irritation, but the Uchiha no longer looked murderous so that was alright.

It was weird, but whenever Sasuke was in an especially bad mood, Naruto was in an especially hyperactive one. This was no coincidence; for whatever reason, the more obnoxious Naruto was, the better mood Sasuke was in. Maybe it was just that he provided a much-needed distraction, or maybe Sasuke actually thought he was funny (hah! Yeah right.), or maybe Naruto brought Sasuke the same sense of _homesafecomfort _that the Uchiha brought him. Whatever it was, if simply being himself made Sasuke feel better, Naruto would be himself and more.

"Bastard! Would you believe me if I said I missed you?" Naruto blinked innocently up at the older man. He thought he heard a whimper from one of the others in the room, but that made no sense to him at all so he ignored it.

He simply got a scoff in return. "Nice try dobe. Why are you really here?" Despite the not-nice words, Sasuke's hands were gentle as they held Naruto steady on his lap.

He pouted. "I was bored! No work today, and nobody else had the day off!"

"So you decided to come and interrupt me at my work?"

"Er… heh," Naruto rubbed the back of his head nervously. "I was bored, teme! You know what happens when I get bored!"

Sasuke sighed and shook his head slightly; of course he knew, because most of the time, Naruto managed to drag him into it as well.

"I for one," a familiar smooth voice said. "Am very happy to see you, Naruto."

Finally the blond man gave the other people in the room a proper look. The woman was gaping (unattractively, to be honest) at him, sitting in Sasuke's lap as he was. Probably Karin, Naruto thought. Sasuke's in-denial-fangirl.

The guy with the awesome orange hair – maybe he was related to Nagato-nii? – looked a little nonplussed, but otherwise had no reaction. That was kind of disappointing.

His gaze fell on the last (but certainly not least) person, who he'd been very aware of from the moment he'd stepped into the room. Naruto let his eyes roam over the man's body and face in blatant admiration.

Suigetsu easily matched Naruto's six feet in height, though he was maybe a centimetre or two taller. His body was leaner, his shoulders not quite as broad, and his muscles not so prominent as Naruto's, but the blond male could clearly see that Suigetsu was strong and firm, whipcord instead of bulk. Jaw length white-blue hair framed a strong, angular face, with glinting violet eyes; Naruto wasn't sure if it was mischief or something else, but whatever it was, it really turned him on.

He grinned brightly at the purple eyed man. "It's good to see you too, Suigetsu." So very, very good. "I told you I'd find you the next time I visited Sasuke." His grin turned cheeky, blue eyes lighting up with laughter.

Suigetsu chuckled. "Somehow, I didn't picture that happening quite like this." He gestured towards the door – which was still wide open – and then towards where Naruto was still seated quite comfortably sideways in Sasuke's lap. Conveniently facing the sharky-man. Wonder how that happened?

One golden eyebrow raised suggestively. "So you've been picturing it, have you?"

He got a toothy smirk in return. "Picturing it, fantasising about it, even got a couple of actions and a soundtrack to go with it."

Naruto honestly probably would have moaned aloud if he hadn't been sitting in his best friend's lap. Talk about awkward. Oh yeah, and the two strangers in the room, couldn't forget about them.

Speaking of… Karin, assuming that was who she was, was glaring at him. She probably thought he wouldn't notice, facing the other way as he was, but honestly the back of his skull almost had twin holes drilled into it by the force of her jealous eyes.

Naruto felt the spark of mischief lighting up inside of him as he remembered that she had a crush on the Uchiha. He briefly entertained the thought of quashing that spark. Very briefly. And then; Nah. He winked at Suigetsu (who he hadn't answered and couldn't answer because it'd probably be something completely inappropriate) before shifting in Sasuke's lap so that he was facing straight ahead, languidly draped along the length of Sasuke's body, with his back pressed against his friend's chest. He didn't even need to see Sasuke's face (not that that would help anyway, blank-faced Uchiha bastard) to know that the black haired man was mentally sighing and rolling his eyes in exasperation and resignation. Naruto knew that just as he knew that Sasuke didn't even have to ask to know what he was doing. They knew each other just as well as they knew themselves.

Naruto's long, tanned arms snaked their way up behind him, hands clasping behind Sasuke's neck. He tipped his head back so that it was resting against Sasuke's shoulder, nose nuzzling the pale neck in front of him. His mouth twitched in amusement as he felt Sasuke's own arms wrapping around his waist, pulling him up against him more securely. He flicked his eyes upward, just in time to catch Sasuke's jaw relax in a way that told Naruto his friend was smiling.

The result was two completely contrasting yet equally sexy men in a very intimate position in an office chair, an infuriated redhead trying to conceal the blood dripping from her nose, and Hōzuki Suigetsu not even trying to conceal his own nosebleed as he stared heatedly at the blond. Naruto was a little disappointed to not get any reaction but bemusement from who he guessed was Jūgo, but then again, Sasuke had said that he tended to get violent when he was emotional. So maybe that was a good thing. He turned bright blue eyes on his new friend – _just_ friend – to gauge his reaction. It couldn't have been better; Suigetsu's violet eyes were fixed on Naruto. He didn't look at Sasuke, in jealousy or lust. For all the attention the Uchiha was getting from the other man, he might as well have been part of the chair.

Then Naruto reminded himself that it didn't matter, because he _was not going to go there._ No sir, only friendship here.

So he tore his eyes from burning violet and focused instead on burning crimson. And he burst out laughing, removing his arms from Sasuke's neck and sitting up straight, only to double over. That was absolutely priceless – Karin was soooo jealous, her face was practically green. The only reason it wasn't was because the green was fighting with the furious red that was also trying to dominate her face. It left her face all blotchy and twisted, causing Naruto to give in to his laughing fit, because the jealous rage wasn't quite enough to cover up the appreciation of the picture they had made.

"You've had your fun dobe, now get off of me. You've been eating too much ramen." Sasuke shoved him lightly.

Naruto jumped up and pointed a finger accusingly at him. "Teme! Are you calling me fat?!"

The words made Sasuke scoff and roll his eyes, while Suigetsu snickered and Karin slowly frowned, looking puzzled.

"Oh, by the way," Naruto paused and lowered his finger, smiling sheepishly, eyes scrunching up. "I'm not gay with this bastard," he jerked his thumb to where Sasuke was still sitting in his chair. "I'm his best friend. Uzumaki Naruto, nice to meet you!"

"Uzumaki?" Karin spoke before anyone else could. "Your family name is Uzumaki?"

Naruto didn't know what was so important about that, but the woman's face was no longer a – hilarious – mix of conflicting emotions. Now she looked hopeful.

"Well, yeah." He rubbed the back of his head. "Why's that?"

"Doesn't have red hair," she muttered to herself instead of answering. "Blond Uzumaki?"

Naruto could feel himself starting to get curious – and irritated. "Hey hey hey, lady. Do y'think you could, y'know, tell us what the hell you're going on about?"

She stopped muttering and stared at him, lips pursed. He stared back, determined bullheadedness written all over his face. Karin sighed. "All right, fine. I was just surprised to hear that surname. I haven't heard it for a long time."

Now one thing about Naruto, is that he was an orphan. For the first eight years of his life, he lived in one of Konoha's poorer orphanages, surrounded by children who disliked him and adults who were too busy keeping the place afloat to notice. He was found by one Umino Iruka, a teacher at the local primary – the same place he met Sasuke – who took a liking to him and adopted him. Naruto loved Iruka, the man really was the perfect father, but he'd never called him that. Two years ago, when he was twenty-four, he and Sasuke had done some digging – with a little help from Sakura-chan of course. They'd discovered his birth parents, and a lot of things about them. Including how they'd died. There had been a car accident; Namikaze Minato had been killed instantly, while a heavily pregnant Uzumaki Kushina had stumbled off, forced into premature labour. She'd been found by a policewoman called to the scene, told her name, gave birth to a baby boy and died just as she'd named him. Naruto wasn't sure what had happened after that but he'd ended up in the orphanage when the cops couldn't find any family of either of his parents. So now, hearing this stranger talking as though she knew others with the name Uzumaki, threw him. Naruto had long ago resigned himself to having a self-made family. If there really were others… He wasn't sure what he'd do. Uzumaki couldn't be a common name, could it? He'd never heard of anybody else with that name.

"What do you mean?" He asked Karin quietly. If she was surprised by his mood change, she didn't show it. Nobody did.

"I mean," she said just as quietly. "That my mother's maiden name was Uzumaki. I was surprised to hear it from you because all the family of hers I ever met had red hair. And you're blond."

Blue eyes widened. He, no she, no they… Karin could be related to him!

"My mother's name was Uzumaki Kushina. I never knew her, but in all the photos I've seen, she had red hair." He heard himself saying distantly. Inside, his brain was scrambling for something solid to hold onto, hoping desperately and trying not to, questions bubbling like lava in his chest.

Luckily, a smooth pale hand slipped into his at that point and squeezed. As Naruto gladly grabbed hold of this familiar lifeline, he felt Sasuke – who else could it be? – stand and pull him away. "This meeting is adjourned until further notice. Jūgo, you may leave if you wish. Karin, stay. You and I are going to sort this out. Suigetsu," here Naruto felt Sasuke's hand letting go of his own and almost panicked, before he felt another hand take its' place. Still pale, but rougher, fingers not quite as long. "You look after the dobe. Go get some ramen at the place down the road. Dobe," Sasuke's brisk tone softened. "I'll figure this out for you, alright? Suigetsu will bring you home later."

Naruto nodded dumbly, trusting his friend to take care of everything. He squeezed Suigetsu's hand to let him know that he wasn't completely out of it.

"Come on," he said, shoving any and all heavy thoughts out of his mind. After all, he was going on a semi-date with the sexy shark man! (_No he WASN'T! Just friends, Naruto! FRIENDS!)_. He had to be aware for this. "Let's go get some ramen!"

* * *

**AN: Good or nah? Longer chapter, this one. Er... More SuiNaru interaction in the next one :). Maybe more backstory? **

**- Kelly**


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